He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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