But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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