this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize