Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
