They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
