doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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