I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
