the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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