You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
