I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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