69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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