he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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