I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
