You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
