i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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