Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize