Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
