Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
