My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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