walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
