You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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