OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
