No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
