i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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