also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
