Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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