it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize