hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
