worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize