its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
