it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
