But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
