dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
