I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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