It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
