At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
