OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think my vagina is haunted
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize