I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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