You're completely useless in the revolution.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
foreskin is a definite game changer
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
