a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
