it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
