A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
