If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize