at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
