Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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