I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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