Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
