never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
