I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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