Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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