I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
