Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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