dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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