They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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