We won't sleep together?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
