TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
