Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
