she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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