I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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