Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
