Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize