you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
