I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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