haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
