drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
