we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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