my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
