I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
