so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
