it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
