Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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