Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
