I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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