My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize