Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
