I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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