do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
