Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
