Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
