So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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